You Will Never Be Me by Jesse Susanto

It's shocking to learn that social media can be a very dark place. With just the click of a button, being an influencer means keeping up with constant posting, and all the success often comes with a lot of baggage.

Meredith Lee and Aspen Palmer were best friends. Meredith found success on her YouTube channel while Aspen struggled to be like her. However, after Aspen married Ben, she managed to gain followers, and as a photogenic couple, they became a viral sensation, becoming influencers in their own right. For Meredith, though, it became hard to be a single mom. She swears that everything that happened was Aspen's fault. Although it wasn't intended to be a competition, their friendship ended in a catastrophic fight.

 As soon as their follower counts soared, kindness sharpened into jealousy, shattering marriages and ruining friendships. Not only that, the fear of not knowing what to post or feeling drained of creative ideas left a state of a fake aesthetic life.

Sounds familiar enough? I really enjoy reading the author's work, which I rated 5 ⭐️. I must say the main characters are incredibly badass. One is a horrible person who can't handle her best friend's success. Additionally, it highlights the lowest moments of motherhood and raises awareness on social media platforms.

Horror, He Wrote by Tan Jit Seng

Ernest Maxwell Graves, a struggling crime writer, is contemplating ending his life due to an undignified failure in writing literature. His latest novel, "Sex and Pontianak," was also a lack of success and was ridiculed by reviewers. However, his misery takes a chilling turn when a beautiful Chinese ghost appears before him. Her name is Chang Pai Lian, named after the white lotus.

Pai Lian offers Ernest a compelling interest in the murder of her twin sister, Chang Hong Lian, who was infamously dubbed the Red Lotus by the press. Her sister was murdered, and the identity of the murderer remains a mystery. Following this tragedy, Pai Lian took her own life. Both sisters died under the bridge at Taiping Botanical Garden.

She claimed that her sister had been murdered, similar to the book she was ghostwriting. She wanted to expose the wrongdoings and make a deal to be Ernest's ghostwriter to tell the true story.

Interesting premise. Aside from the confusing timeline and perspectives, the author delivers a fun, mystical fantasy with plenty of funny punchlines that are easy to read. It was not a straightforward case, though, and it involved supernatural elements.

Gadis Kretek by Ratih Kumala

5 ⭐️

Begitulah. 

Paduan jalan cerita yang begitu hidup, tragis, sarat dengan budaya, sejarah terhasilnya rokok di Jawa dan yang pasti melekat di hati aku sampai bila-bila. 

Kisah cinta yang kemudiannya menjadi dendam menciptakan satu atmosphere yang meruntun jiwa.

Bermula sekitar era pendudukan Jepun ke tanah Jawa, klobot atau kretek menjadi perantara masyarakat. Bukan saja dikatakan boleh mengubati penyakit asma tapi juga menjadi bahan dalam sistem barter ketika itu di samping dapat memberi semangat kepada penggemarnya. Perusahaan klobot Idroes Moeria melalui liku-liku yang sangat panjang. Cita-citanya untuk memasarkan rokok daun itu ke luar daerah, cintanya kepada Roemaisa, saingannya Soedjagad yang tidak henti-henti mengasak serta konflik yang melingkupi di tengah krisis perubahan politik.

Memang aku kagum betul penulis dapat menceritakan secara terperinci bagaimana proses pembuatan kretek itu semasa detik datangnya Jepun, kemerdekaan Indonesia dan kemudiannya kebangkitan PKI. Aku rasa kemuncak cerita ini sewaktu anak Idroes, Dasiyah yang mesra dipanggil Jeng Yah turut sama mempertahankan warisan perusahaan keluarga dengan identiti dan rahsia perisa kreteknya sendiri, Kretek Gadis. 

Penulis bijak menyelang-nyelikan scene cerita di zaman sekarang dan zaman sebelum ini membuatkan pembaca ralit untuk tahu kisah watak utama, Jeng Yah dan Soeraya seterusnya. Endingnya begitu mantap, rahsia yang tersimpan berpuluhan tahun terbongkar setelah sekian lama membuatkan ia momen yang menyentuh hati dan tak terlupakan. Perfect.

Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh

This is like a confession of Eileen Dunlop, who was twenty-four years old when this all happened. She worked as a secretary at a private juvenile correctional facility for teenage boys. She was depicted as having an unhappy, sad life and harboring a deep disdain for almost everything around her.

Eileen's father was an alcoholic who often ridiculed her, and she never spoke up for herself. Instead, she preferred to sit and rage quietly. She struggled to make friends and often fantasized about her disappearance, a thought she never discussed with anyone.

Her prayer was answered when a new prison director of education, Rebecca Saint John, came into the picture. She seemed sweet, promising that Eileen's situation could improve. Eileen admired and yearned for her attention.

This week's entries express how desperate she is to escape from her dull and miserable life. The writing is engaging and creates a sense of suspense with strong and well-developed characters. However, I found the ending to be rather lacklustre. I spent much of my time trying to piece together the details to understand the bigger picture, but it felt drawn out, as though not much was really happening.

Kokoro by Natsume Soseki

I think I just found the right book by the right author! The story is divided into three parts. Part 1 is about the acquaintance between the narrator, a young man, and Sensei, a lonely man whom he admires deeply.

Part 2 focuses on the young man's relationship with his family, particularly as his father's illness has taken a turn for the worse.

Part 3 is the most heartbreaking section, featuring a confession from Sensei to the young man. In this letter, Sensei reveals his long pent-up inner pain about his past and moral darkness, beginning with the death of his parents and his uncle's betrayal. Following these traumatic events, he then met and lived in a boarding house with strangers, Okusan and her daughter. His path crossed again with his friend, known only as K, and his predicament. He suggested that K move in with him, but he soon became jealous of K's interest in their landlord's daughter. This continual strain was affecting his attitude and decisions afterward.

What I feel is that both men (Sensei and K) possess too much pride. I even grew tired of the characters. Given their youth, this behavior is quite understandable. The stories are dark and feature morally ambiguous characters. Set in the 1920s, this slow-paced narrative is deeply personal and hauntingly beautiful, exploring themes such as family, friendship, and the fragility of human behavior: depression, insecurities, guilt, and ego. I rate it 4.5 ⭐️