Before I Go To Sleep by S. J. Watson

Before I Go To Sleep is one of those psychological thrillers that quietly crawls under your skin and refuses to leave. It is the kind of book you do not rush through, even when the pace feels slow and repetitive halfway in. In fact, that repetition is the point. I found myself trapped inside the mind of an unreliable narrator I desperately wanted to believe.

Christine Lucas is a middle aged woman who has lived with amnesia for over twenty years. Every morning, she wakes up believing she is young, only to realise that decades of her life are gone. She feels as if two versions of herself exist in the same body. While she is awake, she can retain information. Once she falls asleep, almost everything is erased. What remains are only fragments of her life before the accident.

Her husband Ben feels like a stranger, yet she is told every day that this is the man she has lived with for years. A neuropsychologist, Dr Nash, offers her a fragile sense of hope by encouraging her to document her memories in a journal. Each day, she secretly reads and rewrites it without Ben’s knowledge. The more she learns, the clearer it becomes that Ben does not want her to remember too much.

The journal becomes both her lifeline and her torment. It helps her piece together the truth while reminding her that everything will vanish again by morning. Still, she holds on to the hope of rebuilding a life worth living. When flashes of memory return like sudden visions, buried secrets begin to surface, leading to a revelation that shocked her and, honestly, shocked me too. 😅

Seperti Dendam, Rindu Harus Dibayar Tuntas by Eka Kurniawan

Saya tak tahu sama ada saya suka atau tidak dengan buku ini. Bukan sebab karyanya tidak bagus. Tapi mungkin salah saya sendiri tidak membaca sinopsis terlebih dahulu. Jujur saya katakan yang saya memilih buku ini atas faktor tajuknya. Saya merasakan ada beberapa elemen yang mirip dengan Cantik Itu Luka iaitu tentang dark humour dan antiheronya.

Suka saya mengingatkan yang buku ini dikategorikan untuk pembaca matang. Mengisahkan watak utama Ajo Kawir dan sahabatnya Si Tokek yang hari-hari mereka diisi dengan melakukan hal sia-sia seperti bergaduh dan hal-hal lagha yang lain seperti mengendap rumah seorang perempuan bernama Rona Merah. Rona Merah digelar perempuan gila oleh orang kampung. Sehinggalah peristiwa dia diperkosa oleh dua orang polis, Rona Merah ditemukan mati di halaman rumah. Peristiwa inilah yang menjadi titik mula trauma Ajo Kawir, menyebabkan dia mengalami masalah lemah tenaga batin. Tragedi di usia remaja itu menjadi inti emosi dan psikologi kepada keseluruhan cerita.,

Namun, di sebalik kekerasan dan kehancuran itu, Ajo Kawir tetap menemukan cinta dalam diri Iteung. Iteung mengetahui sepenuhnya masalah dalaman Ajo Kawir, tetapi memilih untuk menerima kekurangan lelaki itu tanpa syarat. Dalam masa yang sama, Ajo Kawir juga terjerumus lebih jauh ke dalam dunia gelap apabila dia diupah untuk membunuh seorang lelaki walaupun sedar akibatnya adalah penjara, dia tetap menyahut tawaran tersebut kerana upah yang lumayan.

Separuh kedua novel lebih banyak menumpukan kepada kehidupan Ajo Kawir sebagai orang dewasa, selepas keluar dari penjara, menjadi pemandu lori dan beberapa tahun meninggalkan anak isterinya serta pertemuan dengan perempuan misteri bernama Jelita. Semuanya dinaratifkan secara ringkas tapi padat dan tidak berlebihan. Saya suka bab itu.

Walaupun timelinenya kelihatan berserabut, ia masih kekal plot-driven dan mencerminkan kekacauan batin watak utamanya. Mungkin saya tidak sepenuhnya jatuh cinta dengan buku ini, tetapi saya tidak menafikan kekuatannya. Ia jujur, kasar, dan memaksa kita untuk bertahan hingga ke akhir cerita.

Body Count by Julie Mae Cohen

5 ⭐s. If I ever write a book, this is exactly what my debut should be. Fr. 😅

Seraphina 'Saffy' Huntley-Oliver is beautiful, intelligent, and sharp in ways that matter. She carries many fine qualities, yet her life is shaped by a childhood trauma that never truly lets her rest. She is also a serial killer. Not reckless, but deliberate. She kills with purpose. Her targets are bad men, especially those who harm women. For a very long time, she lives an almost perfect double life, normal enough to avoid suspicion while quietly nurturing her darkest instincts.

Despite everything, there are two people she loves fiercely and would fight for with her life. Her sister Susie and her new boyfriend Jonathan Desrosiers. Jon is a true crime podcaster and investigative journalist who meets Saffy at a low point in his life, when both his career and his personal life are falling apart. He has already come frighteningly close to death after crossing paths with not one but two serial killers. Coincidence or fate, the tension never lets up.

Things take a dangerous turn when Saffy is preparing for her next victim and realizes someone knows her secret. Someone is watching, bold enough to cross her line and worse, to involve Jon and Susie. From that moment on, every move becomes a risk, every choice loaded with consequences.

This is my first time reading Julie Cohen, and I am impressed. She has a sharp sense of humour and a confident writing style that keeps the story gripping and alive. For me, that is what makes a good story truly unforgettable. Very subtle, purely stylistic.